{"id":60575,"date":"2020-05-25T19:00:04","date_gmt":"2020-05-25T09:00:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/content.easyweddings.com\/au\/articles\/relationship-in-iso\/"},"modified":"2023-08-04T16:06:31","modified_gmt":"2023-08-04T06:06:31","slug":"relationship-in-iso","status":"publish","type":"au-article","link":"https:\/\/www.easyweddings.com.au\/articles\/relationship-in-iso\/","title":{"rendered":"Looking after your relationship in ISO"},"content":{"rendered":"

Dating, engaged, and married couples, we understand that you might be\u00a0struggling with your relationships during the current pandemic, with extra pressures on due to physical constraints, finances, and even the added responsibility of caring for children in the home.<\/p>\n

Of course, we want to do all we can to support you at this time. So we’ve asked a renowned expert for some advice on how to nurture your relationship right now if there are troubles cropping up due to the added pressures a global pandemic has brought our way. This week, Dr. Chloe Carmichael, a licensed clinical psychologist, shared with us some tips on how to nurture your relationship in the COVID-19 landscape. Here’s how to look after your relationship in ISO:<\/p>\n

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How to deal with the added stress on your relationship in ISO:<\/h2>\n

\u201cWith stress, it\u2019s less important what happens to us, and much more so how we handle it.<\/span><\/p>\n

One thing couples can do is, what we call in psychology, narrate your experience. <\/span>You can tell each other, ‘I’m feeling stressed today,’ or even, ‘I’m worried I’m putting too much on you.’ And then the other person can give feedback. <\/span><\/p>\n

I find that with a lot of high-functioning people, such as the ones I work with, they\u2019re actually more afraid of burdening their partner than they should be, and it\u2019s often helpful to remember that when we open up to someone and share our struggles, that person actually ends up feeling more special, and it can actually bring us closer, so it\u2019s helpful to remember times of stress can actually bring us closer.\u201d<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\"Looking<\/p>\n

Look out for yourself and your partner:<\/h2>\n

\u201cMaking sure that they’re going to sleep and waking up on a regular schedule, as well as taking showers and things like that on a regular schedule \u2014 these things are more important to our mental health than we realise. We can lose track of those daily markers during covid. <\/span>Also make sure they\u2019re getting support and staying in touch with friends and family so that you’re not totally relying on each other to be the be-all for them. <\/span><\/p>\n

If you start to wonder if your partner is slipping or struggling, you can talk to them about it, but I would really try to frame it in terms of saying \u2018you know, you haven\u2019t been yourself lately, you\u2019re usually very cheerful, and you\u2019re usually very supportive\u2026 lately you seem different, and I\u2019m just a little worried about you.’ That way, you\u2019re coming across to them as highlighting their positives rather than seeming critical of them.\u201d<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\"Looking<\/p>\n

Have some quiet time:<\/h2>\n

\u201cCouples are almost overconnected during isolation, and that can be overwhelming and hurt the connection. What you can try is something I call compassionate silence, which is where you actually schedule a block of time where you agree that you\u2019re not actually going to be talking. It\u2019s really just to give both of you a little break, and then you\u2019re going to share with each other afterward what the experience was like. It\u2019s a way of connecting, but also addressing the fact that being isolated together so much can be overwhelming. <\/span><\/p>\n

If you decide to try compassionate silence together, you should decide in advance how long you\u2019re going to do it, there should be a start time and a stop time. You may want to decide in advance if there\u2019s going to be music or not, physical contact – if that\u2019s something that can happen spontaneously between you, or if you\u2019d rather not have to navigate that in silence, and also you should decide if it\u2019s okay to use non-verbal hand gestures to communicate.”<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\"Looking<\/p>\n

If you had to postpone your wedding, honour your commitment:<\/h2>\n

“On the original wedding date, at that day and time, maybe stand together and hold hands, work on your wedding vows, or do something together to show behaviourally that you’re still honouring your commitment to each other. It’s okay to grieve, but at the same time, we want to keep the emphasis on the fact that you’re still moving forward.”<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

It’s really important to know that you both want the same thing from the relationship, and although there may be something in the way of you achieving that for now, as long as you are looking forward together, you will both feel supported and secure in your mutual wishes for the future. Plan your wedding here.<\/p>\n

\"Looking<\/p>\n

Disclaimer: If you are at risk of domestic violence during the current pandemic, being at home might not be the safest place for you. Remember that abusive behaviour can be sexual, emotional, financial, social, or physical. If you need advice, please reach out to services in your state<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n

See more from Dr. Chloe Carmichael on her Website<\/a>, Instagram<\/a> or Twitter<\/a>.<\/h2>\n\n","protected":false},"author":19,"featured_media":60576,"template":"","au_article_tag":[],"class_list":["post-60575","au-article","type-au-article","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","au_article_category-covid-19","au_article_category-relationships"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.easyweddings.com.au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/au-article\/60575"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.easyweddings.com.au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/au-article"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.easyweddings.com.au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/au-article"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.easyweddings.com.au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/19"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.easyweddings.com.au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/au-article\/60575\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.easyweddings.com.au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/60576"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.easyweddings.com.au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=60575"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"au_article_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.easyweddings.com.au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/au_article_tag?post=60575"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}