Millennials have been changing the ways modern couples are getting married. And with more and more same-sex couples getting married now that the legalisation has gone through, there are many questions that the wedding industry traditional used to ask that may come across a bit outdated.
We want to make sure we’re being inclusive to everyone, as well as making sure that the wedding industry can be fluid with the new ways that weddings are being changed. By asking more questions and thinking about the way you ask these questions, you can help set your business apart from the rest by leading the pack when it comes to modern weddings.
So here are a few modern questions to ask of millennials as they turn wedding traditions on their head.
“How did you get engaged?”
This is one for couples who might not have that ‘proposal’ moment. While many couples are still being surprised by their partners, avoiding the questions “how did he/she propose” will open you up to be more inclusive of long-term couples who haven’t had the opportunity to have that moment.
This changed question can also cover the question of “when did you get engaged?”
With the legalisation of same-sex marriage, this is particularly more inclusive of same-sex couples, who might have been engaged for several years or who have decided to get married rather than had that proposal moment.
“How did you choose the ring”
More than 30% of couples are choosing an engagement ring together nowadays, so it’s no longer just the responsibility of a groom to pop the questions with a giant sparkling diamond. Asking the open question of how the couple chose the ring will allow them to open up about the story and embellish on the details of who actually chose it, whether they both knew, and potentially even who paid for it.
“Are you living together?”
This is a personal one and will mostly only be used by celebrants when going through the legal forms, but rather than asking a couple if they’re going to be moving in together after the wedding, ask them if they’re already moved in together.
Most modern couples are already living with one another before tying the knot, whether they’re renting in a share house or owning their own home.
“Are you walking down the aisle?”
Rather than asking the traditional “who is walking down the aisle” question to the bride, you should be asking a couple whether or not they are walking down the aisle at all. This goes for all couples, including those in hetero or same-sex relationships.
Gone are the days where the groom must wait for his bride at the altar. You might find that a groom is walking down the aisle first, or two brides are getting married and want to walk in from opposite sides.
“Is anyone going to give you away?”
The giving away of the bride is becoming more and more outdated as couples are changing up their lifestyles. Many couples are already living together before they get married or even engaged, some have already even bought a house together or had children! So it makes sense that they’re then choosing not to be giving away by someone they might not have lived with for the last 10 years.
We’re also seeing more newlyweds choose to have both of their parents walk them down the aisle on their big day or even involve their step-parents as well. Plus, some couples are choosing to have their pet give them away!
“Are you having a wedding party?”
We’re seeing a shift from bridesmaids and groomsmen with more couples choosing to have mixed wedding parties for their big day or even none at all. Swap the outdated term ‘bridal’ with ‘wedding’ party which is more inclusive of bridesmen and groomsmaids.
Also check whether your couple is having a wedding party at all, as they might decide to be alone at the altar. Flower boys and page girls are also becoming more popular, which leads us to our next point.
“Are you playing a role in the wedding?”
If a couple isn’t enquiring with a supplier together, then one of them will usually take a friend, family member, or member of their wedding party. While traditional planning groups consisted of a bride and her mother or bridesmaid, rather than asking questions like “are you the mother of the bride” or “are you the maid of honour” ask what role someone is going to play in the wedding instead.
You might find that you’re speaking with a stepmother or chatting with a friend who won’t be in the bridal party at all. This will help you clear up who is who, as well as get a bit more of an idea about the couples day.
Or, if in doubt, keep this bit of small talk out of the conversation and pick another topic instead!
“Are you thinking about having children?”
We don’t know why this would ever come up in conversation while on the topic of wedding planning, but as a millennial in a long-term relationship hear me when I say that this should never be asked. EVER.
You don’t know what a couple has spoken about in the past, what their personal situation is like, or even their medical history. This is a question you should avoid for all couples, millennial or not. That goes for outside the industry as well!
