Wishing well and wedding gifting etiquette is an unspoken dance between couples and guests. How much should guests contribute? Should you account for that in your wedding budget? And how do you avoid your great-aunt gifting you that tea set you desperately do not want?
It’s no secret that these days, couples opt for a cash or digital wishing well over traditional gift registries. Guests, especially older ones, might be confused about the appeal of money over, say, a new sheet set or slow cooker. So, why are couples head over heels for the concept of wedding wishing wells over traditional gifts?
Allow us to spill the tea. We surveyed 320 nearlyweds; almost 89% said they would be requesting cash gifts for their wedding. Modern couples are all about embracing experiences, adventures, and the freedom to choose how they shape their future. With a wishing well, they can gather the generosity of their loved ones and transform it into meaningful experiences like dream vacations, home renovations, or even starting their own business.
In the words of Destiny’s Child, “I depend on, I depend on me.” Over half of our couples planning on wishing well said they didn’t need or want any gifts. While 25% said they wanted to make a little bit of their wedding spending, and a further 22% said their cash gifts would be going directly into the honeymoon fund.
It’s like sprinkling a dash of magic over the couple’s happily ever after, allowing them to create cherished memories that will last a lifetime.
Set Up Your Digital Wishing Well
How Much Are Guests Contributing?
When it comes to contributing to a wedding wishing well, guests are often eager to lend their support. The beauty of a wishing well is that it allows guests to give what they feel comfortable with, ensuring no financial strain. On average, guests contribute anywhere from $50 to $200, depending on their relationship with the couple and their personal circumstances. Of course, some may be extra generous, while others may contribute a smaller amount.
The results of our polling showed that 44% of couples would expect their guests to contribute $100-$150 per couple, while just 4% considered a gift of over $200 to be standard.
How do I ask for cash over gifts from my wedding guests?
Now that we’ve established the charm of a wedding wishing well, let’s explore the delicate art of asking for cash over traditional gifts. While you may find this topic daunting, we assure you it can be approached with grace and charm, making your guests feel comfortable with your choice.
The good news is that wishing wells are so normalised these days that they’re more the rule than the exception. 78% of the nearlyweds we polled said they felt completely comfortable asking for cold hard cash as opposed to gifts. Here are the best ways to ensure people adhere to your wishes:
- Word of mouth. Spread the word among close family and friends about your preference for cash gifts. Kindly ask them to inform other guests who may inquire about your gift preferences. By relying on your inner circle to pass on the message, you can ensure that your desires are subtly communicated without any direct solicitation.
- Let your invitations speak volumes. Craft your wedding invitations thoughtfully, conveying your wishes through polite and creative wording. You can tactfully mention that you have already established a home together or that you are saving for a specific purpose. Phrase it in a way that encourages guests to contribute to your future plans and dreams. “
- Personalise your wedding website. Create a wedding website and dedicate a page to sharing your love story and dreams for the future. Here, you can gently express your preference for cash gifts, emphasising how they will help you embark on your new journey together. Remember to express your heartfelt gratitude for any gifts received, regardless of their form.
Thanking guests for their generosity
With your wedding day over and your wishing well full to the brim, it’s important to take the time to acknowledge your loved ones’ contributions. Here are some ways you can show your love and appreciation:
- Personalised thank you notes. Take the time to craft handwritten thank you notes to express your sincere thanks. Personalise each message, mentioning the contribution and how it will contribute to your future plans. A personal touch goes a long way in showing your gratitude.
- Share your love story. Consider sharing a heartfelt message on social media, highlighting your gratitude for the love and support shown by your family and friends. Use this opportunity to showcase the positive impact their contributions will have on your journey as a married couple.
- Thoughtful gestures. For guests who went above and beyond with their generosity, consider personalised tokens of appreciation such as small keepsakes, photo albums, or personalized videos. These heartfelt gestures will help them feel cherished and valued for their contribution.
An added tip: Take notes!
“My very brilliant husband keeps a list in his phone of all the cash gifts we received for our wedding day,” explains one bride. “That way, when we get invited to the wedding of a couple who attended our big day, we just have to check the list to know what kind of contribution is appropriate.”
After the whirlwind of your fabulous wedding day, it’s a good idea to note who gave what. Get yourself into gear and write a list in your phone’s notes section. Trust us; this will ensure that you remember every generous gift and the fabulous souls behind them. Not only will it make expressing your gratitude a breeze, but it’ll guide you when it’s your couple friends’ turn to say “I do.”
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