Wishing wells at weddings: 5 things to consider
If you’ve built a home together, you probably don’t need another toaster or a new set of wine glasses. Instead of a traditional gift registry (filled with upgrades you don’t really need), a wishing well lets your guests contribute to something more meaningful: whether it’s your honeymoon, a home project, or simply a fund for your future together.
Traditional gift registries made sense when couples were moving in together for the first time, but today, many already have the essentials. That’s where wishing wells come in. Instead of receiving duplicate household items or gifts that don’t quite fit your needs, a wishing well gives your guests the freedom to contribute to something meaningful: whether it’s your honeymoon, a home deposit, or a fund for future adventures. A wishing well is practical, flexible, and allows guests to feel like they’re part of your future in a way that truly matters.
However, there are a few things you need to know before committing to a wishing well.
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1. Not everyone loves them (and that’s okay)
While you might work out a wishing well is best for you and your partner, some of your guests might not be so excited about it. Some people just love buying gifts (and may very well choose to do so anyway) and revel in the opportunity to show creativity in their choice of gift for you. Others may simply feel a bit funny about giving money or may stress out about what “the right” amount to give is. (Answer: there isn’t one. It is simply what you want to give and what you can afford.)
2. Be clear about its purpose
Traditionally, couples who choose to have a wishing well will include a separate card with their invitations with a generic or more personalised poem explaining their decision. It might help to allay some of the weirdness for those who don’t usually like to give money to also include something about what you intend to use the money for, so they don’t think it will pay for the next quarter’s electricity bill.
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3. Place it discreetly (not front and centre)
Avoid placing the wishing well (or money tree, or whatever other version you have created for your wedding) in a prominent place at your reception. While some guests may have come prepared with their gift already tucked inside a card or sealed envelope, others may have visited an ATM on the way in and will put loose cash into it. If you place it in an area where there is only a small amount of foot traffic, those who fall into the latter category will feel a little more comfortable. You may want to consider leaving blank envelopes near your well for this reason.
4. Expect a mix of contributions
While there are some etiquette guidelines that say guests should give what the couple would spend on having them at their wedding, this is a very grey area. Worst still, other guidelines say to gift what you would normally spend on a wedding gift, and that can be difficult for those who haven’t been to a wedding before. A good rule to go by when opening up the cards after the wedding is to be grateful for what you have been given, as you will find as little as $20 in one card and as much as $300 in another. Don’t be offended by those who give less, it’s not a reflection of how they feel about you and your partner.
Source // Wishing well card by Papermarc
5. Let guests know how they helped
A thoughtful thank-you note goes a long way. If their contributions helped fund your dream honeymoon or first home, share a little detail in your message. It makes guests feel part of your journey rather than just handing over money.
