Who should I invite to the wedding? A guestlist guide to cutting the fat
There are many reasons why people might be angling their way to an invite. But you’ve got to cut some of that fat. So, we’ve put together the best guide to answering the ultimate question: who should I invite to the wedding?
Planning your big day is a mix of magical and stressful. The inevitable moment when you realise your venue (and budget) accommodates 100 guests, and your wedding guest list is hovering somewhere near 200. Unfortunately, it’s not Coachella, and you can’t do a ticketed event (although maybe this will be the future).
It’s the biggest question ahead of your wedding day: who should I invite to the wedding? Source: Berts Bar.
Whether you’re trying to save money, keep things intimate, or just avoid awkward conversations with third cousins you haven’t seen since kindergarten, cutting your wedding guest list is a necessary (and often painful) part of the process.
Still not sure where to start? We got you! Read this guide and take the quiz to find out who truly makes the cut – and who might be better left off the invite list.
First things first, let’s work out what type of wedding you’re having. This can help determine how (and who) to trim your wedding guest list.
Get your wedding guest list perfect with this quiz! Source: Poodle Bar.
Who should I invite to the wedding? For the small and intimate affairs
If your vision is a cosy, candlelit dinner with your closest circle, you’ll need to be ruthless. This means saying goodbye to your old coworkers, even if you once bonded over terrible office coffee. However, it also is a great excuse for why someone isn’t invited. “Oh, it’s a small wedding. Just family.”
How do you go about working out who you should invite to the wedding? We think the best way to start is by asking yourself: have you spoken to them outside of a work context in the last year? If not, they probably don’t need a seat next to Grandma. The same goes for your parents’ friends who “watched you grow up.” While their sentiment is sweet, this day is about who you feel emotionally connected to now. Keep your list aligned with your present, not your past.
A smaller wedding will mean a more cut throat guest list. Source: Aunty Kims.
Who should I invite to the wedding? For the big bash wedding
Even with a larger guest count, you’re not required to invite everyone you’ve ever met. A bigger party doesn’t mean a bigger obligation. Sure, you may have room for more guests, but that doesn’t mean your mum’s book club or the guy you haven’t texted since 2021 should make the list. Prioritise people who bring genuine joy, not just filler for the dancefloor. Ex-colleagues and distant acquaintances might’ve shared moments with you, but this is your moment. It might feel ruthless, but you’ll need to make sure every name on that list earns their confetti.
Large weddings have bigger guest lists but can be just as hard to ask the question: Who should I invite to the wedding? Source: The Trust.
Who should I invite to the wedding: guest category
Okay, now we know what wedding you’re having. The next thing to do is divide the guest list into categories.
Who’s paying: money talks, and sometimes, so do our parents
Let’s be real for a moment here. If your parents are fitting the whole bill, or even a little, they might want some input especially when it comes to inviting their longtime friends. And honestly, that’s fair… to a point. Although we still think that perhaps the entirety of your mum’s book club or your dad’s golf friends might be a stretch, it’s reasonable to give them a small share of the guest list as a thank-you.
The tip: give them their number of guests first and let them fight it out! Those awkward conversations about whether or not that person is invited? Not yours to have! When it comes to your parents’ friends, they can also be the ones to let them know they haven’t made the cut.
It’s all about compromise. Honour their support without losing control of your guest list vision.
Sometimes your parents do have some sway. Source: onemustardseed.
Coworkers and cubicle casualties
Just because you once shared a Slack channel doesn’t mean you have to share your wedding cake. We get it. Colleagues share a unique bond: sometimes, it’s through trauma, and other times it’s through shared passions and insights. So, this puts colleagues in the ultimate grey area. They know you; they know your coffee order. They even know what your ‘stressed snack’ is during a busy day. But they don’t really know your fiance.
So, you’ll need to ask yourself if the only real bond you have is complaining about the Monday morning meetings. If so, it might seem harsh, but this is when it’s okay to skip the invite.
As for ex-colleagues, there’s no obligation unless you’ve stayed in touch outside of work. Remember, your wedding isn’t a networking event. You’re not curating a LinkedIn live. A fail-safe question: “Will I know this person in five years’ time?” If the answer is no, then maybe the best place for them to experience the wedding is through your Instagram feed.
Small wedding or big wedding, your guest list is yours! Source: Mewburn Park Homestead.
Still unsure? There’s a quiz for this exact scenario!
If you’re staring at your list and second-guessing every name – don’t worry, you’re not alone. Cutting down a guest list can feel like emotional Jenga.
So, at Easy Weddings, we developed The Ultimate Wedding Guest List Quiz, which takes care of the most intimidating question: Who should I invite to the wedding?
This quiz is scientifically (well, not really) designed to help you make clear, guilt-free decisions based on connection, relevance, and what you actually want. So before you send out that “save the date,” take a deep breath, grab your favourite beverage, and let’s figure out who really deserves a seat at the table.
Who should I invite to the wedding? The ultimate quiz!
