Wedding Guest Requests: When to Accommodate and When to Send a Polite ‘Nope.’

Whether it’s a plea for a plus-one, a request to bring their three kids to your child-free affair, or a demand for gluten-free, dairy-free, fun-free options – there’s always something.

Weddings – they’re magical, they’re romantic, they’re… full of requests. As much as your wedding day is all about celebrating love, it’s also about navigating the endless stream of requests from your guests.

So, where do you draw the line? Let’s dive into the delicate art of knowing when to say ‘yes,’ and when to serve up a polite but firm ‘nope.’

Understanding Guest Requests: A Balancing Act

First off, let’s get one thing straight: it’s your day. But, naturally, being the lovely, considerate human you are, you want your guests to enjoy themselves too. So, when Aunt Mildred asks if she can bring her dog because he’s part of the family, or your best mate wants to invite her new flame (whom you’ve never met), it’s only natural to pause and consider. The trick is knowing which requests are worth accommodating and which should politely head straight to ‘request denied.’

Requests Worth Accommodating

Some requests are totally reasonable – and might even make your day that little bit more special (without driving you mad). Here’s what you might want to say ‘yes’ to:

• Dietary Restrictions: Allergies? Religious preferences? Gluten intolerance? We get it – no one wants their wedding remembered as ‘that event where Gran had an allergic reaction.’ So, make sure there are options to cater for everyone’s needs, even if it’s just a carefully chosen alternative on the menu.
• Accessibility Needs: If you’ve got elderly or disabled guests attending, this is an absolute must. Whether it’s seating arrangements or making sure the venue has lifts, these requests are totally fair. After all, everyone deserves to be part of the fun.
• Travel Adjustments: For guests travelling halfway across the world (or just from the other side of the country), consider seating them somewhere comfortable or even organising a small welcome gift. It’s a nice touch for those making a big effort.

The Polite ‘Nope’: Where to Draw the Line

Now, onto the fun bit. Here are the requests you can confidently swat away – because some things are just not your problem:

• Plus-Ones for Random New Dates. If your guest hasn’t RSVPed with a plus-one, don’t feel pressured to squeeze them in at the last minute. You planned for a certain number, and this isn’t speed-dating. Stand firm, and politely let them know they’ll be flying solo for the night.
• Children at a Child-Free Wedding. We know – everyone thinks their kids are angels, but no one wants toddlers upstaging their vows. If you’ve decided on a child-free celebration, hold your ground. A polite but firm ‘unfortunately, we’re keeping things adults-only’ should do the trick.
• Special Seating Requests. Unless it’s for accessibility reasons, seating preferences like ‘I don’t want to sit near my ex’ should politely be ignored. You’ve got a wedding to run, not a soap opera. Kindly explain that the seating plan is locked in, and hope they can put their differences aside for one day.
• Budget-Busting Demands. Whether it’s asking for vegan, keto-friendly, gluten-free wedding cake or an open bar until 2 a.m., if it’s going to send your budget into free fall, you can absolutely say no. It’s your wallet – protect it.

Navigating Tricky Requests

Now, not every request is black and white. Sometimes, you’ll need to ask yourself: ‘Is this request actually reasonable, or am I bending over backwards unnecessarily?’ A good rule of thumb: if it’s a small ask that won’t disrupt your day or add to your budget, it might be worth saying yes. But if it’s going to cause chaos, stress, or an extra bill, it’s probably a ‘them’ problem, not a ‘you’ problem.

Tactful Communication

When you’ve got to say no (and there will be times), you can still do it with grace. Here’s how to deliver a polite ‘nope’ without upsetting anyone:

• For Plus-Ones. ‘We’ve kept things intimate, so we won’t be able to accommodate extra guests, but we can’t wait to celebrate with you!’
• For Child Requests. ‘We’ve decided to keep the day adults-only to give everyone a night off, but we’re so excited to see you there!’
• For Special Diets. ‘While we can’t change the whole menu, we’ve worked with the caterers to make sure there are options that should work for everyone.’

It’s all about being firm but friendly – and leaving no room for negotiation.

At the end of the day, it’s your wedding. While it’s wonderful to be accommodating, don’t feel pressured to bend to every request. Saying no is absolutely fine – and sometimes necessary – to make sure your day is as stress-free as possible. So, be firm, be kind, and remember: you can’t please everyone… but you can still have the best day of your life.