There is no doubt that your wedding is an amazing milestone for your relationship, but in the end it’s only one day in what will be the rest of your lives together. Here’s seven secrets to a successful marriage.
The reality
All of the time, money, and effort you put into celebrating the occasion with your friends and family is seen as “normal”. However, only 35% of couples invest time, effort, and maybe a little bit of money, into preparing themselves for marriage.
You’ve picked out the colour theme, the dress, and spent countless hours coordinating, researching, and contacting vendors to make your wedding day the best it can possibly be. It is a sign of the lifelong commitment you have with your partner. But while you field questions about what hairstyle you’ve chosen, how awesome your venue is, or what photos you will be trying to capture, have you spoken to your fiance about what’s going to happen once the presents have been opened and your honeymoon is over? How do you plan for a successful marriage past the wedding?
Talk
It is so much nicer to sit down and talk about what flavour cake you’d like to eat at your wedding reception, but you should set aside some time where you and your fiance discuss the big picture of what your married life will look like. Will you continue in your chosen careers? Will you start a family? Will you join your bank accounts or keep them separate? You don’t need to spend hours talking about every little detail, but whenever there’s an opportunity to talk about the future, begin a discussion to make sure you are on the same page.
Compromise
It’s understandable that no two couples are on the same page 100% of the time. One of the keys to a successful marriage is learning how and when to compromise. There should never be a clear winner and loser. Planning a wedding can be a good ground to practice your skills in compromising!
Money matters
One of the biggest areas of disagreement with married couples is finances. Before you walk down the aisle, discuss your relationship with money. Are you a big spender? Are you obsessively frugal? You will need to talk about what your financial goals might be as a couple, whether it be to save for a house deposit, or pool funds for a big overseas adventure. Being on the same page when it comes to money will help you to work toward the other goals you set together.
Your tribe
You are selective when you choose who you would like to celebrate your wedding day, and you should continue to assess who you keep in your circle throughout married life. Surround yourself with friends and family who love and support you as a couple, and you will have a strong support network to call upon whenever you hit a rocky patch.
Never assume
No matter how well you know your partner, it is best to always ask how they are feeling and what their thoughts are when situations arise. Even when things are going well, never assume they know how much you love them – tell them as often as you can. The power of positive will always overcome the negative.
Seek help
If you are finding it hard to talk about some of the more serious aspects of your future marriage, go to a counsellor or seek the help of a trusted parent or friend who might be able to help you with ways to open the lines of communication.
Don’t feel like you can plan everything
While it is all well and good to talk about your hopes for the future of your marriage, the unexpected can and does happen. The key to weathering these unexpected events is a strong foundation, and if you have been working together as a united team, you will be able to work your way through almost anything.
