Long gone are the days when a second wedding was a cause of embarrassment; a discreet affair to be conducted with the least possible fuss and attention. These days second weddings can be just as lavish as the first time around, and many brides find that they actually enjoy their second wedding more that the first because they already know exactly what they do and do not want.
Second time brides are usually more relaxed. It is a bit like having your second child; you wonder what all the stress and worry was about the first time. Even so, there are a few specific questions about second weddings that you might want answering before you begin to plan your big day.
Who can I invite?
Depending on how your first marriage ended, there may be some controversial guests on your invite list. Should you invite your first husband if you are still on good terms, especially if you have children together? Perhaps you are still good friends with your ex husband’s family and it would seem wrong not to invite them.
The golden rule here is to talk to your future husband openly about the guest list and only invite the people that you are both totally comfortable with. After all, the day is about the two of you and you have to be able to enjoy it without any past bitterness creeping in.
It’s fine to invite whoever you like, and there’s no rule that says your ex husband or his family shouldn’t be there. However, if you don’t want to be reminded of your first wedding during the ceremony you could consider just inviting them to the reception afterwards, they would probably understand your reasoning.
Can I wear white?
There is no reason why you shouldn’t wear white for your second wedding. You are a bride after all, albeit for the second time around. You only have to look at the photographs in any celebrity magazine to see second or even third time brides in traditional white bridal gowns.
If you wore a white dress for your first marriage and you want to make your second a bit different, there are many designers now making a variety of coloured dresses. Gold and silver are popular options, or you could choose a white gown with coloured accents in the bodice, train or sash. If you want to wear white but aren’t keen on repeating the traditional bridal gown you could look for well cut white suit for a modern twist.
Should I register for gifts?
Deciding whether to ask for presents for your second marriage can be tricky, especially as many of your guests will have attended your first wedding and brought a gift then. This question is especially difficult if it is the second time for you but the first time for your fiance.
One possibility is to avoid a traditional gift registry, but choose something that you can really enjoy as a couple and ask guests for an optional contribution. This can be anything from your honeymoon, to wine to stock up your cellar, or vouchers for a local garden centre.
Most of your guests will be happy to buy you a gift even if they bought you one the first time you got married. After all, you are still paying for them to be at your wedding, and they will want to celebrate your new union. It may be that you and your fiance are setting up home and want new things that belong to the two of you, rather than constant reminders of the past. If you still want to register for gifts in the traditional way, go ahead and don’t worry about your guests’ reactions.
