16 do’s and don’ts of best man’s speech
Giving a best man’s speech is a great honour — and for many, a terrifying one. You’ve got the mic, the crowd’s attention, and a serious responsibility to strike the right tone. Whether you’re naturally confident or more of a behind-the-scenes guy, a well-prepared best man speech can be a memorable and heartfelt moment. But get it wrong, and you’ll be remembered for all the wrong reasons (not to add any pressure, of course!)
To help you deliver a speech that’s funny, respectful, and meaningful, we’ve rounded up the ultimate list of do’s and don’ts for a best man’s speech.
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1. DO: Plan ahead
Don’t wing it. This is not the time for improv.
Start preparing your best man’s speech at least a few weeks in advance. Jot down stories, brainstorm ideas, and practice your delivery. Good speeches don’t happen by accident: they’re written, refined, and rehearsed.
Tip: Structure your speech with a clear beginning, middle, and end. Include a mix of anecdotes, compliments, humour, and heartfelt moments.
2. DON’T: Ramble on
You might think everyone’s hanging on your every word, but weddings are long days, and attention spans are short.
Aim for 5-7 minutes for your best man’s speech. That’s the sweet spot: long enough to say something meaningful; short enough to keep everyone engaged. Practise with a timer and cut any waffle.
Avoid: Long-winded stories that only you and the groom find funny. If it needs more than a few sentences of explanation, scrap it.
3. DO: Keep it personal (but not too personal)
The best man’s speech should reflect your unique relationship with the groom. Share a couple of stories or memories that show what kind of person he is — ideally ones that highlight his loyalty, humour, or kindness.
But steer clear of anything too intimate, embarrassing, or inside-jokey. If the audience can’t relate, you’ll lose them.
Examples of what works:
- The story of how you met
- A funny (and appropriate) travel tale
- A moment where the groom showed his true character
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4. DON’T: Talk about exes
This one’s simple: don’t mention ex-girlfriends or past relationships. Not even as a joke.
Even if the groom’s partner has a great sense of humour, this is a no-go zone. It’s not funny, it’s not clever, and it definitely won’t go down well with Grandma.
5. DO: Compliment the bride (genuinely)
Yes, this is technically the groom’s moment — but the best man’s speech should always include a few kind, respectful words about the bride or spouse.
Mention how happy she makes your friend. Say something positive about her personality. Acknowledge their connection. Keep it authentic and warm, not cheesy or over-the-top.
Example:
“I’ve never seen [Groom’s Name] look at anyone the way he looks at [Bride’s Name] … with the exception of a bacon cheeseburger in 2014.”
6. DON’T: Make it about you
You might be the one speaking, but this isn’t your time in the spotlight.
Avoid turning the speech into your own stand-up routine or therapy session. A little self-deprecating humour is fine, but the focus should stay on the couple: not your dating life, your job, or how hard it was to write this speech.
7. DO: Use humour (wisely)
The best man’s speech is often expected to be the funniest of the bunch, and a well-timed joke can go a long way. But read the room.
Keep the humour inclusive. Don’t make jokes at the expense of the couple, their families, or mutual friends. If there’s even a tiny chance it could offend someone, leave it out.
Safe comedic ground:
- Harmless teasing of the groom’s quirks
- Light-hearted commentary on wedding traditions
- Jokes that gently roast the best man (you!)
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8. DON’T: Drink too much beforehand
A drink to calm the nerves? Fair enough. But don’t rely on alcohol to carry your confidence.
Nothing ruins a best man’s speech faster than slurred words, off-colour jokes, or forgetting what you were saying mid-sentence. You’ll feel worse about it later (trust us).
Have a toast afterwards. You’ll have earned it.
9. DO: Thank the right people
Before you launch into stories and sentiment, take a moment to thank the key players:
- The couple (of course)
- Their parents (especially if they hosted the wedding)
- The guests (for being there to celebrate)
A short acknowledgment goes a long way and sets the tone of gratitude.
10. DON’T: Use clichés or internet templates
It’s fine to look online for inspiration, but avoid copying and pasting generic jokes or clichés.
Lines like “Marriage is a workshop… where the husband works and the wife shops” might have gotten a laugh in 2005, but they’re tired now. Plus, everyone’s heard them before.
Your audience wants to hear your words, not recycled one-liners.
11. DO: Practice out loud
Reading silently isn’t enough. Say your speech out loud — multiple times.
This helps you:
- Get comfortable with the pacing
- Catch any awkward phrasing
- Memorise the key parts
Practise in front of a mirror, record yourself, or read it to a friend. The more you practise, the smoother it’ll be on the day.
12. DON’T: Forget to toast
Your speech should end with a clear, confident toast. This is your final moment: make it count.
You can go classic with “To love, laughter, and happily ever after,” or add your own twist. Just make sure it’s short, upbeat, and easy to raise a glass to.
Example:
“To [Bride’s Name] and [Groom’s Name] — may today be the worst day of your marriage, because it only gets better from here.”
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13. DO: Speak from the heart
You don’t have to be a professional speaker or a natural comedian to deliver a memorable best man’s speech. The best speeches are genuine, thoughtful, and heartfelt.
Be yourself. Be honest. Let the audience see how much your friendship with the groom means to you, and how happy you are for the couple.
14. DON’T: Read word-for-word (if you can help it)
It’s fine to bring notes, especially if you’re nervous. But try not to bury your face in the paper.
Glance down when you need to, but aim to make eye contact with the couple and the guests. It makes your speech feel more personal and less like a school presentation.
15. DO: Know your audience
Tailor your speech to the people in the room. If it’s a traditional crowd, keep things more classic. If it’s a relaxed, party-loving group, you can be a bit cheekier (but still tasteful).
Remember: You’re not just speaking to your mates. There are parents, grandparents, and maybe even kids in the audience.
16. DON’T: Panic if you slip up
Even seasoned speakers stumble. If you lose your place, mispronounce a word, or get a bit emotional, don’t panic.
Take a breath. Make a quick joke if you want. People are more forgiving than you think, and vulnerability can actually make your speech more endearing.
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To recap: the golden rules of a best man’s speech
Do:
- Prepare early and structure your best man’s speech
- Add personal stories and genuine compliments
- Keep it appropriate, light-hearted, and focused on the couple
- Thank the right people and end with a toast
- Practise until you feel confident
Don’t:
- Go off-script or over time
- Rely on alcohol for courage
- Tell inappropriate stories or use recycled jokes
- Forget your audience
- Make it about you
The role of a Best Man’s speech – and beyond
Being a best man isn’t just about holding the rings or organising the bucks’ night: it’s about showing up for your mate when it really counts. Your best man’s speech is more than words; it’s a moment to honour your friendship, welcome their partner into the fold, and celebrate what brought everyone together: love, commitment, and connection.
So take your time, speak honestly, and enjoy the moment. You’re not just delivering a best man’s speech — you’re marking a milestone.
Still sorting out your outfit for the big day?
If you’re looking for best man suits, try our formalwear directory on Easy Weddings to browse top-rated suppliers and find a look that’s as sharp as your best man’s speech.
