Planning a destination wedding brings up a lot of emotion, especially when it comes to your parents’ reactions. Here are some tips to help you get them on board with your plan.
As with all conversations related to wedding planning, it’s important to have a strategy in place before you tell your parents you’ve decided to have a destination wedding.
Of course, you know your parents better than you know just about anyone else in the world. You probably have a good idea of how they’ll respond before you even bring up the idea of a destination wedding. And yet, there’s always the slight possibility that they could surprise you.
Our lead destination wedding expert, Amelia Gravina, says, “Including your parents in the conversation around whether to have a destination wedding is a great way to get them on board with the idea early and make sure they’re seeing things through your lens.”
Whether or not your parents are contributing to paying for your wedding will have a big influence on how much say they feel they should have in the decision. Most parents will be quite upfront about their guest list expectations and exactly how much money they’re able to contribute to your wedding. So, you should have an idea of their expectations around decision-making from the start.
If you’re leaning more toward making the decision and getting your parents on board after the fact, here’s what you need to know.
Common things parents worry about with destination weddings
Before you head into a conversation with your folks, consider their point of view and have your talking points ready. Their biggest concerns, according to Amelia, will likely be:
- Who makes the cut for the guest list?
- Will the closest family members be able to travel?
- Will the people we care about be able to afford to come?
- Can we still do something special with people who can’t attend?
- Is the wedding going to be more expensive to host?
Our best advice is to really sit with these questions as a couple first. Your parents are likely to be concerned about many of the same things you’re concerned about, just with a different focus.
Amelia says, “Most parents see their son or daughter’s wedding as a chance to celebrate with the people who made their parenting experience whole — their parents, siblings, close friends, the people they feel really helped to raise you.” If your guest list is limited because you’re having a destination wedding, it might be helpful to have an open conversation with your parents about other ways they can celebrate with the people they love. You don’t necessarily have to have a second reception — honouring those people could be as simple as your parents sending them a beautiful hand-written note with some photos of the wedding.
As far as the wedding expense, destination weddings are often thought of as more expensive, but that’s not always the case. For couples, destination weddings are often more affordable, as there are fewer guests to consider in the budget.
Provide info they can understand
Communication 101 is to come into any emotional conversation armed with practical talking points to help keep you on track. In the case of a wedding, the most practical arguments often come down to budget. If your parents are numbers people, you’ll want to have numbers readily available for your conversation.
It’s helpful in these early stages to prove you’ve done your research.
You may want to prep:
- A sample budget for a destination wedding
- An early-stages guest list so you can talk invite numbers
- Rough estimates on the cost of an Australian wedding
- Airfares for the destination you have in mind
If you have the time, a few quotes from actual venues would also be useful. If you’re just starting to jump into the process and haven’t really landed on a specific venue, check out the pricing of our destination wedding packages. If you’re ready for more specific quotes, please reach out to Amelia for a custom quote.
Our free destination wedding planning guide includes tips on budgeting for a destination wedding.
Enlist advocates for your decision
Once you’ve planted the destination wedding seed with your parents, you should probably know they’re going to start asking around. Maybe they’ll call a sibling or a close friend. Maybe your mum will call a friend whose daughter had a wedding in Bali.
Whatever the case, it’s to your advantage to get ahead of this. Ask your family and friends to pull their weight in conversations with your parents. “If you explain to even just a handful of friends how important it is to you to have a wedding overseas, chances are high that the word will get back to your parents,” Amelia says, “And hopefully those people can help advocate for your decision and drive that much more excitement and curiosity about a destination wedding.”
Considering a destination wedding? Our destination wedding and travel team can help.
DISCOVER DESTINATION WEDDINGSAccess our free wedding planning PDF by sharing your email.
