12 bridal shower questions everyone asks
The bridal shower is one of those pre-wedding milestones that sets the tone for the celebrations ahead. Whether you’re planning one, attending one, or being celebrated yourself, it’s a moment steeped in tradition — with a modern twist.
But between who hosts it, when it should happen, and what kind of gifts are expected, bridal shower etiquette can quickly become a bit of a grey area. So, let’s break it down. Here’s everything you need to know to navigate bridal shower etiquette with confidence and grace.
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But first, what exactly is a bridal shower?
A bridal shower is a pre-wedding event traditionally hosted in honour of the bride, giving her closest friends and family a chance to gather, celebrate, and “shower” her with well wishes (and gifts). It’s typically a more relaxed and intimate occasion than the wedding itself, often held during the day and centred around food, conversation, and thoughtful touches.
1. Who hosts the bridal shower?
Traditionally, the maid of honour or bridesmaids host the bridal shower. Sometimes, close friends or aunts step in to help, especially if the bride’s party is small or spread out across different cities. It’s become increasingly common for multiple people to co-host or collaborate on the event, especially when it comes to logistics, styling, and budgeting.
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2. Who gets invited?
The golden rule here is simple: only invite people who are also invited to the wedding. A bridal shower isn’t the place for someone to find out they didn’t make the wedding guest list. The guest list usually includes close friends, bridesmaids, extended family, and sometimes the groom’s side of the family — especially female relatives like his mum, sisters, or grandmothers.
Another tip? Keep the guest list intimate. Unlike the engagement party or the hen’s, the bridal shower tends to be a smaller, more personal affair.
3. When should the bridal shower be held?
Bridal showers are usually held anywhere from two months to two weeks before the wedding. The sweet spot tends to be about a month out — close enough to feel festive, but not so close that it gets lost in last-minute wedding chaos.
It’s also helpful to understand how the bridal shower fits in with other pre-wedding events. Unlike the more spirited hen’s party or the traditional kitchen tea, the bridal shower is typically a daytime celebration that brings together close friends and family. It doesn’t replace these other events, but it does serve as a more inclusive and often gift-giving occasion that focuses on connection, support, and celebration.
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4. Should there be a theme?
Themes are optional — but they can be a fun way to make the event feel curated and cohesive. Whether it’s a brunch garden party, a high tea, a wine-and-paint afternoon, or something as simple as a colour palette, a loose theme can guide the décor, food, and dress code.
Whatever you choose, keep the bride’s personality and preferences front and centre. A shower should feel like her, not a Pinterest board.
5. What about gifts?
Yes, gifts are still expected at a bridal shower (that’s part of the tradition). Many brides choose to register for gifts in advance to avoid duplicates and make life easier for guests. It’s helpful to include a wide range of price points so no one feels uncomfortable.
If the bride doesn’t want a traditional gift registry, alternatives include:
- A honeymoon fund
- Contributions toward a home or renovation
- A “stock the bar” theme (each guest brings a bottle)
- Personalised or handmade gifts
It’s also completely okay to state “no gifts” on the invite, but be prepared that some guests may bring something anyway.
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6. What should guests wear?
The dress code usually depends on the location, time of day, and theme. Afternoon garden parties call for soft florals and sundresses. A rooftop cocktail shower? Think dressy casual. If you’re the host, it’s a good idea to include a short note on the invitation with the suggested dress code (e.g., “Smart casual” or “Dress to impress”).
A good general rule for guests? Avoid white: that’s the bride’s colour.
7. What does the bride do at her own shower?
Not much, and that’s the point. The bridal shower is a chance for the bride to be looked after and celebrated by the people closest to her. That said, there are a few things she might like to prepare:
- A short thank you to guests (either a speech or a toast)
- A list of guests and gifts received (for thank-you notes later)
- A comfortable outfit that still makes her feel like the guest of honour
8. Are games necessary?
Bridal shower games are loved by some, dreaded by others. There’s no hard rule here: it depends entirely on the vibe you’re going for. If the guest list includes lots of different age groups or people who don’t know each other well, a few light games can break the ice.
Some popular options include:
- Wedding trivia
- “How well do you know the bride?”
- Advice cards or date night ideas
- Bingo with registry items
That said, if the bride’s idea of a good time is sipping prosecco and catching up with friends, you can skip the games altogether.
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9. Should there be food and drinks?
Absolutely, but it doesn’t need to be a full sit-down meal. Light refreshments, a grazing table, or afternoon tea are more than enough. Bubbly or cocktails are optional, but always appreciated. Just be sure to have non-alcoholic options on hand, especially if there are pregnant guests or under-18s attending.
10. Who pays for the bridal shower?
Traditionally, the host (or hosts) cover the cost of the bridal shower, including venue, food, drinks, décor, and any entertainment. In practice, it’s often split between the bridal party or a small group of close friends or family.
It’s also becoming more common for the bride’s family to offer to chip in, especially if the guest list is larger or the event is more elaborate.
11. How do you make it personal?
At the heart of every good bridal shower is one key consideration: the bride herself. From the food and music to the guest list and location, this celebration should feel like a reflection of who she is — not just what’s trending on Pinterest.
Is she low-key and introverted? A backyard lunch with her nearest and dearest might be more meaningful than a big event. Does she love a bit of drama? Think statement florals, cocktails, and a curated playlist. Tailoring the shower to her personality not only makes the day more memorable, but it also shows thoughtfulness and care (which is exactly what the occasion is all about).
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12. How many bridal showers can you have?
While multiple people may want to celebrate the bride, etiquette traditionally calls for just one bridal shower. It’s more thoughtful (and less demanding) for guests to attend a single, well-planned event rather than multiple gatherings — especially when gifts are expected. If different groups want to be involved, consider co-hosting or incorporating all circles into one inclusive celebration.
Ready to start planning?
From venues and stylists to florists and cake makers, Easy Weddings has everything you need to plan a beautiful, well-organised bridal shower, and every other event leading up to the big day. Browse our trusted supplier directory to find the right people to bring your vision to life.
