We’re over 60. Do we need to invite all aunts and uncles of deceased parents even if we’re not close?

When it comes to wedding guest lists, it's important to consider various factors, including family dynamics, personal relationships, and practical considerations. While there are no strict rules dictating whom you must invite, etiquette suggests that it is thoughtful to extend invitations to close family members, especially if you have a good relationship with them.

Given that you are very close to your 90-year-old aunt, who was your late uncle's wife, it would be considerate to invite her to your small wedding dinner/reception. As for your other aunts and uncle who live over an hour away and with whom you may not be as close, it is ultimately up to you to decide whether to extend invitations.

If you feel it would be meaningful to include them, you could consider inviting them as well. Regarding the plus ones for spouses who may require transportation, you can make arrangements to provide transportation for them to ensure their attendance.

Remember, the size and nature of your wedding also play a role in determining the guest list. If you are having a small, intimate affair, it is generally understood that not all extended family members may be included.

The decision should be based on your comfort level and the dynamics of your family relationships. It's always a good idea to have open and honest communication with your family members about your plans to ensure clarity and understanding.

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding, and I hope your special day is filled with joy and love!

Thank you so much for sending in your question!

Wedding guest lists are always the trickiest part of wedding planning. It's a very delicate balance between family obligations and personal relationships. Firstly, it's important to assess your budget and venue capacity. If you have limited space or budget constraints, it may be more practical to focus on inviting those who are closest to you, like your late uncle's wife.

In terms of etiquette, it's generally not necessary to invite all aunts and uncles of deceased parents if you're not particularly close to them. However, if you feel strongly about extending an invitation to them as a gesture of respect or maintaining family harmony, it's definitely worth considering.

It's very thoughtful of you to consider their needs in terms of plus ones/transport arrangements. Since they don't drive if you do decide to invite them, you could either organise tranport for them or extend the invitation to their spouses to ensure their comfort and convenience.

Ultimately the decision is completely yours to make depending on your budget, logistics and most importantly relationships! Whatever you decide, it's important to communicate your decision with sensitivity, explaining that due to the size of the wedding, you have had to limit the guestlist. Most guests, should understand and respect your choices, especially if you approach the situation with kindness.

Hope this helps, we wish you the best of luck with your wedding planning!